


Moo-ving Shenanigans

by RogueLioness



Series: Thedosian Tales [12]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 07:32:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14995925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogueLioness/pseuds/RogueLioness
Summary: Bull is drunk, and thinks Krem is dead.





	Moo-ving Shenanigans

It felt as though all of Skyhold had crammed itself into the Herald’s Rest. Maryden plucked sadly at the strings of her lute, and a mournful tune filled the air. 

“I can’t believe he’s gone,” Bull sobbed in a corner, his hiccups only broken by the large gulps of ale he swallowed. “My lieutenant’s gone. He’s just…  _gone_.”

“There, there, boss,” Dalish patted his arm sympathetically, while rolling her eyes at the rest of the Chargers, who tried desperately to hold back their laughter.

Varric, who was seated across Bull, a piece of parchment on the table and a quill in his hand, took notes religiously. “And how did he… go, Tiny?” he asked, his eyes lit up with mischief.

Bull hiccuped again. “One minute he was holding my shield in his hand,” he rumbled sadly, “and the next, he was just… gone.” His arms flailed wildly in the air as he attempted to punctuate his words with gestures.

“Can someone get the big brute to shut up?” Dorian grumbled.

“Oi, barkeep!” Sera snickered. “More booze, yeah?”

Cabot didn’t look happy - and he sounded downright unhappy - but he knew better than to argue with any of the Inquisitor’s Inner Circle, and so several tankards of ale found their way over to Bull’s table.

“Drink up, boss,” Stitches called out, exchanging a wink with Rocky.

“Poor Krem,” Bull shook his head. “What a way to go. Didn’t even get to buy him that drink I promised.”

“ **BOSS!** ” A very enraged roar caused the buzz in the tavern to instantly dim. The crowd parted to let an indignant Krem, followed closely by a bewildered Lavellan, pass. Krem made his way to Bull, and slammed his hands onto the table. “ **QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD!!** ”

Bull only sighed sadly and took another swig of his beer. “Sometimes,” he said mournfully, “I can still hear his voice… I miss you Krem de la creme.”

Lavellan exchanged a look with Varric, who inclined his head meaningfully towards the dozen empty tankards scattered about the table. “Maraas-lok,” the dwarf supplied helpfully. “He’s out of his mind.”

Lavellan pinched the bridge of her nose. “Creators give me patience,” she muttered. “Bull!” she spoke up authoritatively. “You need to stop drinking!”

Bull raised his bleary eyes to her face. “Boss,” he mumbled. “Krem’s gone.” He blinked, once, twice, before a smile broke out across his face. “Awww, look’it that,” he said in a fond tone. “You’ve even dressed up like he used to. That’s a beautiful way to honor him, boss. Appreciate it.”

“I’M NOT DEAD, YOU DOLT!” Krem yelled, even as the rest of the Chargers roared with laughter.

“Can you hear him boss?” Bull asked, looking around in confusion. Finally, his gaze landed on Krem. Instantly, his eyes grew wide. “Krem’s spirit!” he was shocked. “I knew I should’ve bought you that drink!” He grabbed hold of his tankard and flung its contents at Krem. “There! We’re even now!”

“BOSS!!!” Krem stood there, soaked in dwarven ale, red-faced. Finally, he sighed and threw up his hands in defeat. “I give up,” he muttered. “Let the oaf figure it out for himself. I’m gonna go clean up.” He walked away, Rocky and Dalish hooting at him.

Lavellan stared at the drunk Qunari who was now swaying alarmingly in his seat. “I think he’s right,” she sighed, and turned to Varric. “Keep an eye on him, will you Varric? Don’t let him have any more.”

“You got it, your Inquisitorialness,” Varric chirped cheerfully.

Lavellan looked at Bull again. “Such a child,” she muttered, and strode away, a smile playing on her lips.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sorry for the title. [Bull --> moo --> get it?] XD


End file.
